Feel My DOWN Life :(

2012-01-10T01:14:00.001+08:00

to the love one,

im so sorry :(

yours sincere,
me

2011-12-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

tired of apologizing. why i always ruin my relationship

2011-12-21T01:57:00.001+08:00

bitch!

2011-12-14T21:34:00.002+08:00

supposed to be a great day. i mean supposed

i made it a mess. idk whether did i say anything wrongly, the thing that matters is i really ruined today. fml.

supposed not making comparison. but why?

supposed to be smiling all day long. but why end up frowning whole night?

i had no idea what's going wrong.

frankly speaking i'm down to the max. but i do think faking a smile is the best solution now.

i know im not good at that though, but what to do either?

pathetic loser am i.

failing to settle problems like always.

2011-09-07T16:45:00.000+08:00

that shows how much she loves you :///

2011-08-15T00:49:00.002+08:00

can anyone please just come and give me a fuck? i'm so bloody pissed off with not even a fucking reason. hate falling for someone who supposed not to.

and where the hell are you elaine chen? you're the one who said will be my side listening to my words when im not well? so where the fuck had you been? buddy? you were splitting out some shit when you told this!

2011-07-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

im so emotional now ):

could i get someone to comfort me?

2011-04-19T10:39:00.002+08:00

You'll regret one little day for how you treated me.

I could easily bear all the torture you gave, all the 'NO', 'DON'T'. But it might end one day too.

I don't need you so much now, not as much as previous day.

Have I change my heart? you should kindly ask yourself.

When i wanted to leave, did you hold me on? i'm just waiting for the moment where it will not come true ever.

Counting down.

I learnt a lesson. Thanks for be my mentor. X)

2011-04-15T12:08:00.003+08:00

Er, i've been shortlisted to attend jpa interview. A good try to aim for a scholarship to study abroad. I was listed in the first group to be interviewed, with BRYAN LIEW. at least i felt better and more relax because there's at least a friend beside me that day.

I actually wonder why people unable or unwilling tolerate for a small little stuff? Know how bad the feeling was? The situation is like - you kept tolerating while hoping someone gives a damn on you and realized you were tolerating hardly all these while. But then it always just ended up with something more likely arguments. What's the point here? I don't think tolerating once in a while could be that hard for people. Everyone needs tolerance to survive. I strongly believe that if tolerance doesn't exist, the world is going to be a mess with wars all around ; people are going to fight for a parking slot ; students are going to shout at teachers for nagging them so often. URGHH. I don't know what should i do except tolerating. When the time comes, I apologize ; I swallow down my pride ; I act like bad things never happen ; I smile and laugh ; But what I expected from you is something i couldn't express out with words and pens. I need something that originally spoken out from your heart.

2011-04-04T13:03:00.002+08:00

took SPM result two/ three weeks ago. not really remember when was the exact date. it's simply some weeks after that, i'd applied for some scholarships, but i didn't expect much from them as i know well i might get myself into college life with parental sponsorship. well. my result was considered so-so. neither excellent nor bad. my mum asked me to be satisfy with the results as she's overjoy when she knew about my result. HAHAHA. this actually brought a lot of satisfaction to me indeed. i've never feel regret cause i did put so much effort on it. the only thing which turned me down was the MALAY result. i thought i could score A+, but end up with A only. it's alright. my mum comforted me,"son, you thought it's easy to score 8A+? i cant even score if i'm given a second chance." HAHAHA. " i laughed silently. To be frank, i expected to get 9A+.

Paid a visit to UTP few days ago. Impressive environment. 5 class-library! the best library i'd ever seen.

relation problem really screwed me up. Wasn't in good mood lately. barely hold tears from flowing out. HAHAHA. (: i'm so alright with this too. i might need some time to get rid of it and, start a new life perhaps?

2011-01-29T00:00:00.002+08:00

i just had a call with you. it's twelve sharp now right after i posted a status in facebook. your coolness stunned me. it's quite unbelievable when getting some weird replies from you. you dont wanna lose to anyone and i am definitely included in your list too. you can act like nothing happen though we're having some small arguement. frankly, dont i bath right after i reach home? i didnt watch movie, drama. not packing books, i rush to take my cloth and switch on the water heater. i used to have a simple shower every night as i know you hate waiting. i had simply tried my very best to make everything goes smooth. i requested for which cloth i wanted you to wear but lastly you ignored my request. is that request really hard to be fulfilled? i got nothing to say after all. well, a red doggie is what i had bought for you in my past genting trip. i knew you love patrick, that's the only pretty reason i bought you one. one day we visited sky mex during our outing in parade. you told me you like the red doggie when you saw it. i felt so relief yet happy that moment for which i did a right decision.

2011-01-26T14:51:00.003+08:00

P14G sales advisor rocks =PPPPPPPPPP

2011-01-22T14:23:00.002+08:00

i was astonished when i saw someone who's so familiar with my grandfather.
yeahhh! i realized he was really my grandpa when i headed towards him.
they couldn't saw me at first until i called them.
i was told that they came tesco just to visit me. it touched my heart at that moment.
well. they actually also wanted to buy some groceries for daily usage.
the first ever time i walked around tesco, pushing the trolley with my both grandparents.
though they looked old but they manage to take care of themselves as well as my family.
it was also the first time i touched fish with my own hand.
my grandparents seemed to be nothing when holding those fishes, in fast i think they are used to it as they go to market everyday.
the fishy smell was really strong and kind of disgusting for me.
i recalled back how well they treated me for the past 18 years. awwwww
seriously i got nothing to repay them back.
guess that i will be getting my lifetime first salary next month. and of course part of it will goes to my grandparents' hand =p
thank to them for what they've given me.

ILOVEMYGRANDPARENTS

p\s: i feel guilty sometimes when i'm rude to them. i don't mean it :(

2011-01-21T11:40:00.002+08:00

well, this blog was dead for a long long period.
seriously i dont feel like blogging for the past few months.
revision and examinations fully filled up my daily routine.
facebook was my latest place for expressing in those days.
time flew away as we're getting in our own pathway very soon.
a thought of furthering my studies stoke my mind as i realized quite a number of my classmates have been starting their studies recently.
i'm currently a promoter for P14G company who really feel empty every single day waiting for customers to sign up.
days goes on. time pass silently.
instead of staying rot during working period, there's a better way to pass my time by sharing my experience. LMAO
youtube and facebook are among the most frequent websites which i used to visit every single day.
funny videos lighten my life.
classical songs brought me back to the olden days.
the question" where should i pursue my study" often bother me while i've nothing to do.
i know the same goes to my friend.
result oh result.
i wish a can getter a better you.
i'm not willing to disappoint my family nor myself.
frankly, i've some problems in my relationship.
i'd done the best of mine to tighten it, but it came to no avail.
i don't really want to used to it, but i do now.

2010-12-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

2010-10-01T23:05:00.002+08:00

it gonna be a tough period.
am i taking it over serious?
kinda weird expressing here.
though i found that there's no place that could be a good listener as here do.
pretending to be stupid and foolish in front of your care, could hurt enough.
i'm the one. experiencing all this alone

2010-08-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

i don't love her that much.
i realised.
i will let go.
one day.

2010-07-21T21:38:00.002+08:00

oppps. he's currently in an insane mood of revising.
i dont wanna be beaten down by anyone seriously.
not an easy or simple task to complete.
hmmmmm. deactivated my facebook and byeee all my friends.
i know we will for sure meet in school and will not lost contact.

2010-07-10T14:11:00.000+08:00

ngo hou hoi sum.
ngo zhung yi her.
ngo get a good result.
ngo feel so blissful <3

2010-06-23T20:38:00.003+08:00

im like an idiot. :)
i know nothing.
i put effort on it but nothing came back indeed.
FUCK MY LIFE. PLEASE. ;)

2010-06-17T14:46:00.001+08:00

break break break :)

2010-06-05T10:18:00.002+08:00

is there any long lasting relationship among teenagers today?
will the one beside you be your ever-partner in future?
can you promise that you can walk along your life with the one beside you?
why teenagers nowadays wanted to get their partner as they might have to lost them?
question marks appear in your mind dy.
i can bet :)

2010-06-04T18:27:00.002+08:00

i strived for 2 weeks and at last my exam ended.
when i was striving for my exam, my thought wanted it to end fast.
now it ends, it leads me to a lifeless world.
i feel so aimless currently.

2010-05-15T19:59:00.002+08:00

two is not really better than one. i smile when i grouped with friends.
i enjoy teasing you, yong.
i enjoy lanc you, ds.
i enjoy mentioning your siblings, chea.
i enjoy making jokes with you, stan.
i enjoy console you, fan.
i enjoy consoled by you, jien ie.
i enjoy emo with you, boo.
i won't regret as i have you guys as my buddies.

2010-05-02T20:38:00.001+08:00

down down down
no one knows how down i am.
i dont know anyone to feel me anymore.
study is what i need now :)
addicted to books.
so what? what if you call me bookworm?
i don't mind.
FUCK YOU oOo

2010-05-01T00:18:00.006+08:00

you leave me with a night message.
no more baby calling.
i should be tough to go for it.
but i'm not ready yet. not ready to lost you. i broke my promise. i opened facebook at this moment.
i saw many status. i liked many of them. especially joeyi's one.
what she wrote? totally my inner voice.
what i lost now?
i lost a love one. i shouldn't be that bad tempered. it's all my fault and lead to this.
i deserve it. i faced the computer screen. looking at every word i am typing.
i knew there's something in my eyes. but dont know why. it don't roll down.
it should roll down. perhaps cause my parents are here.
but what i can sure is, my pillow will totally wet once i'm on bed later. hees.
i smile so fakely. but at least, i should let you to be happy. i dont want let you see my sad side.
it's an unknown whether can we back together.
i love you. so do you. you told me you cant stand with my attitude.
i can tell you here.
i'm changing and i'm willing to change for you. unfortunately, i face problems.
i found out that it's not an easy thing to change my attitude in a short time.
it's really not easy.
i'm over emotional. i'll show out every of my emotions. either happy, sad, angry or even jealous.
over jealousy. woohoo. i'm such a person. what can i do?
hahahaha. perhaps i need someone that are totally belongs with me.
it's impossible. selfishness. hahahaha.
this night, i found many of my bad stuffs.
i'm not easy to tolerate with. but you. actually, you tolerate with me a lot
just i'm not satisfy with it only. yeah. at last, i burst out. tears are not under control dy. started to roll down. i hope i can tell someone all about this.
i thought of telling my mum. i hope she can give me some advices and convince me. i wish that someone could care about me now.
a hug will do. or just a hold on my hand.
lawzhentheng. you such a failure.
what are you?
5s1? top class. so what?
you aren't anyone. yeah. im not anyone. just a ordinary boy.
what makes you love me? i thought of this since long time ago.
i dont seems to get an answer.
perhaps it's something arranged by god.
human are so tiny. tiny little thing.
what can i do now? i had did everything that i suppose to do.
i think i won't regret after all. at least i tried it. :) woohooooooooo.
i think this is the longest ever post i had written. not to be proud about. but to be sad about.
hees. 8th may. one week to go. will you celebrate with me? hahahahaha.
i shouldn't think too much. let it be. naturally. peace
:) smileeee. life should be pass everyday by a smile, not a :(
sorry elaine. i made you pass your days with :(
it's time for me to do something for you. it's time to put down my selfishness.
i want you :) everyday. ILY IMY :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

bie, i wrote this last week. hohoho.

2010-04-25T11:43:00.000+08:00

wtf

2010-04-18T17:15:00.002+08:00

fuck you lar.
you didnt even think of my feeling.
what am i for you? i dont know really.
fed up with all of this dy.
whole day is ruined by you. shit lar.

2010-04-13T20:55:00.001+08:00

just realised currenly. that the you aren't the you anymore.
wanted to chat with you, but cool respond comes to me.
tried to sweeten up you, but never had succeed.
i knew you ain't loving me that much as what you did last time.
i had a lot of things to share with you.
i'm ready to tell you. you refuse to know it.
woohoo. expressed everything.
at least i feel better now. :)

2010-04-11T15:33:00.001+08:00

i hate LIARS.

2010-04-07T20:12:00.001+08:00

STARRY STARRY NIGHT

PAINT THE PALLETE BLUE AND GREY.

2010-03-25T21:27:00.002+08:00

today, i got my addmaths paper. at last!
i gave all of my hope on this subject, but in return, it gave me disappointment.
just got 90 for it. i had expected that i could get a higher marks.
i told my friends that i could even get a 100 for that.
anyway, i should learn to be more satisfy.
tomorrow gonna be last day of school day for this week.
this week ain't a good week for me, everything goes wrong.

2010-03-24T20:06:00.004+08:00

wednesday.
i got almost all of my paper.
still left addmaths paper not yet distributed.
here comes my marks.

biology - 71
physics - 71
chemistry - 90
addmaths - unknown yet !
maths - 91
malay - 80
english - 86
chinese - 68
moral - 98
sejarah - 88
est - 78

i so wanna know my addmaths's marks. among all of the subject, this subject gave me the biggest confident. i believe that my hardwork won't make me fall in disappointment.
indeed, my mum was not satisfied with what i got. she told me that she don't like seeing a number "7x" in my exam. anyway, i just kept quiet silently. not going to argue with her.
had lots of homework currently.
have to finish up all of it by this week. and for sure i'm going to burn midnight oil tonight.
english essays, addmaths questions, sejarah notes, all are awaiting me now.
though it's really takes time for me to complete it, i'll try my best to do it myself.
a sudden sense of studying appear in my mind these days.
i started to worry about my SPM, my future study and even my career.
today, sam tet was organising a education fair.
every single member in sam tet has to take a look for it. i'm not excluded too.
guess what? hardly believe that quite a number of my friends have their interest in certain courses. but why? why i don't have a single one? not even one?
i just kept accompany my friend to visit those stalls.
end up with no decision again.

2010-03-23T20:21:00.000+08:00

wanna have a shout now. am so pressured.
don't ever make me mad at you.

2010-03-18T00:38:00.004+08:00

seriously, i don't feel like blogging these days.
not in the mood for blogging.
have nothing to write about.
having my normal life everyday, perhaps this is just what i want.
special life is always not on my wishlist. i satisfy with what i have now. thanks god :)
i just finished dotaing. pass by her blog.
ohh god. i was touched when saw what she wrote.
i dont know that i made her cry when she's with her friends.
not the first time dy. i feel guilty really. in fact, i dont really want to make her cry.
my words were way too hurt to cut through her heart.
and chenelaine, lawzhentheng is here to say sorry.
SORRY CHENELAINE.

hardly believe that we had been together for 4 months plus.
we did it. not an easy thing for us.
you are getting know even well on me.
seriously, i dontwant there's a secret between us.
i had chosen to tell you everything.
i knew this benefit both of us.
there'll be no boundaries between us :)

ilovethewayyouhugme.ilovethewayyoukissme. ievenlovethewayyoupokeme.

2010-03-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

boreddddddddddddddd

2010-03-12T18:23:00.002+08:00

hurray. exam week had ended.
i'm so free from now onwards.
back from parade few minutes ago.
straighty sign in for my blog. i miss my blog a lot. hahahaha.
let's talk about my day.
had my moral and est paper today's morning.
so yeahh. everyone seem gave no fuck to est.
hang with few friends, laugh like hell. :)
meet elaine today. talked not much with her. hahaha.

i'm currently exhausted!

12.2.10

2010-03-12T00:08:00.002+08:00

i'm few steps away from freedom.
exam week gonna end in few couple of hours.
woohoo.
0010 now. my mind was totally with those so - called nilai.
ohhh yeahh. just cut my hair :)
END

2010-03-06T18:53:00.001+08:00

nothing to express.
i'm currently blank-minded.
exam pressures me a lot.
it's killing me with time.
sad that no one can feel me.
DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNN

2010-03-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

i did my task well.
i did study though she's not around.
cold war..

:(

2010-02-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

2010-02-26T17:20:00.002+08:00

woohoo.
seriously, i need a rest. a comfort rest.
being exhausted for long time dy. tired of everything.
guys. cepat date me now. i'm so available now. date me date me.
boo. tomorrow will be your big day.
i think i'm attending your party. :)
saya love you, boo.
i dont know how to show you, but i really did love you :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST BOO.

100th POST.

2010-02-24T20:09:00.001+08:00

100 post of mine :) woohoo.
ilovemyblog.iloveyou.ilovechenelaine.

monday

2010-02-22T15:50:00.002+08:00

first day of school after chinese new year.
i was totally rinsed in the celebration mood. dont feel like going to school. i felt so so so sleepy when i was in the classroom. luckily my friends managed to cheer me up. their topics were so stupid or even brainless. we even gossip just now. hahahahah. i laughed like hell with them.
went for many movies during CNY. i think i watched most of the movie dy. weee :)
i'm ready for braces. two weeks to go. bieeeeeeeee. you want a eeeeeeeeeeeeeee picture with you ma, hor? i know you want it so badly. hahahaha. wait for me lar :)
hohohoho. chinese homework, gotta finish up all of it in couple days of time. guys, see how i catch up for what i'd missed. hahahaha.

you you you. specially for you.
please do take care of your body lar.
i cant always by your side, so do take care well.
dont let me worry about you lar.
3.58 now. gonna strive 4 o clock. you are sleeping there. im blogging here.
you'll get two long message from me once you're awake.
imissyou <3

p/s: reference book, i'm coming for you. wait me! :)

SCHOOL DAYS EVE.

2010-02-21T21:34:00.002+08:00

it had been a week for me to enjoy my time at home and some elsewhere, which i dont have to bother about my school's stuff, school's teacher, and my fellow form 3's new "prefects"
i hate them so seriously.
well. i did went out many times this week. and so i did enjoy my CNY holiday much. how good if it doesn't end. i can wake up at anytime i want. i can go out whenever i want.
few more hours to go, for me to step my foot prints in my school compounds.
idk what homework to pass up, i didnt even care about it, perhaps i know that many of us will copy and finish up our homework in school tomorrow. it'd be a habit for us since years ago.
gonna go for dentist tomorrow. sighhh. i hate that kind of smell there. it tortures my nose. awwww.
9.47 now.
i dont really know what to write now. just crapping so that my post can be longer. and so someone blame that my blog is boring. if you feel so, please kindly press the red "X" button at the corner of your browser. i don't need you to feel me, what i need is just to express my own feelings.

p/s: imissyou, chenelaine ku.

YOU.

2010-02-14T23:01:00.002+08:00

sometimes i feel i cant fit into your world, you have bunch of friends that i dont know even one of them. i knew you used to be one of them last time.
though, i can see that you're changing. i'm touched. i wish you can be a different you compared to your past.
i got know of your name from somewhere else since long ago, which i cant remember when was the date, and how was the story.
i met you someday, in jusco, while i was still a childish kid, fooling around. i remember how was your wearing. it was nice yet you are pretty.
once again, i met you in parade. i had a walk with you, we didnt talk much. we look like strangers for each other. you're much more friendly than i'd expected. i was suprised when saw you laughing everywhere not because of a funny joke, but a lil small matter. your expression were/are/will always in my mind, i hardly forget your laughter. you leave a deep print on my heart since that day.
i texted you. you replied me. idk what we chat, but i remember the way you text me. it's different from others. i knew that.
.....
....
...
..
.

3 novermber. we started.
it had been more than 3 months with you.
i knew i cant leave you.
happy valentine for you chenelaine♥

2010-02-12T19:00:00.001+08:00

i laughed a lot today. hahahaha.
i meet a lot people today.
i was like LAUGH OUT LOUD : )
happy birthday bagi kawanku, joeger

see you later.

2010-02-10T20:37:00.001+08:00

LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL

2010-02-02T20:24:00.000+08:00

thought of going pasar malam today.
everything is ruined by you, LEE DI SHENG!

30.1.10

2010-01-30T18:32:00.001+08:00

woohoo is way nicer compared to legion :)
end.

2010-01-28T19:05:00.001+08:00

sad day.

2010-01-24T13:15:00.004+08:00

monday.
URMM. i went to school as usual. di sheng told me that this week gonna have the so-called sukan tara for everyone, so i brought my baju PJ for changing after school. i was told that the so-called sukan tara started off at 2.30. yet, i went parade after school, for a lunch with elaine and her friends. yea. she did have her so called house-practice. in fact, she refused to go, and stayed at kopitiam while i was returning to school. duhhh. just when i reached the field, told by another friends that it was just an ordinary PRACTISE. IT WASN"T the so called sukan tara. i gave no fuck for the practice as it's just non of my business. went back to parade with yik hong. elaine was still at kopitiam, chattering with her bunch of friends. I dont feel like disturbing her and just returned home after ordering my drink. the end for monday.

tuesday.
URM URMMM. an interesting incident happened today. LIEW CHIN SENG, hero of 5S1 challenged the pj teacher in public. HE's a true man! YEAH! everyone knows, the anthony asked us to copy those notes. indeed, i dont think it's useful for us. 10 pages of it. who do you think you are? you think that's the only way of teaching? copying is the most- idiotic kind of teaching in this world. does it really help us? It just some kind of action that improve our COPYING speed. didnt go anywhere after school time. end.

wednesday.
woohoo. went parade again. twice in a week dy. urm urmmm. i thinked i reached earlier than you, right? waited you in kopitiam. finally, saw your shadow entering. glad to see you again. :) you're way of cute for me, with every action you did, every word you speak out. cant really remember what i did today. kinda of blur. just wrote it roughly.

thursday.
yea. it was my day. remember everything that happen today. kah chun, i didnt mean it. you are always welcomed to join me. and it was just a joke lar, kay? dont be so serious in it. once again, i went to parade after school. it was the third time this week. wakakaka. parade oh parade, i had been abandoned you since the last holiday. now, im back to you again :D meet elaine outside sushi king. she chatted with her friends. and i knew one of her friends. oh god. i knew. my haircut is just like being cut by teachers. I"M here to say this again. actually, ITS NOT. i cut it in a saloon, but it'd past. so, kindly give some respect to me. dont ask me again, am not answering this question anymore. entered kopitiam agian. hees. she ordered for her smashed potato and apple juice. i ordered nothing as i ate my lunch in school. bie, i did feed you today. jien ie with crystal came. he asked me such a funny question. why you sit here? this is my place ehh. i was like, huh? oh yea. i know what he meant finally. ahaha. kah chun came. he ordered his chicken chop. i asked elaine to come for my english tuition. i drew a simple map for the pathway to the tuition teacher's house. it's not really nice. anyway, i still kept the drawing. it's in my pencil box. i do enjoy looking at your writing. cute really :) for the first time, i did addmaths question in kopitiam. i got the correct answer! :) wish that you didnt forget my way of teaching. hahaha. it' too long to write. kind of tired now. continue to my friday

friday.
omega. omega. omega today. saw elaine's friend when the tuition ended. lazyyyyyyyyyyy. end here :)

weekdays

2010-01-22T22:25:00.002+08:00

-colourless without you.
-busy with homework
-stupid moment in school
-funny arguements with di sheng
-tuition all the days
-genetic engineering in my mind
-enjoy staying in my class
-bored in front of the monitor
-writing my so-called "genetic engineering" essay
-heartless
-grey
-black
-white
-i'm colourless

20.1.10

2010-01-20T14:15:00.001+08:00

am at school library now.
was waiting time to past.
gonna meet her soon :)

missmyblog

2010-01-15T17:44:00.001+08:00

going jusco tomorrow. fan's birthday party :)
LAUGH OUT LOUD

2010-01-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

i hope there is some place where i can shout WHAT THE FUCK loudly.
i hope there is some place where i can express all my WHAT THE FUCK stuff completely.
i hope there is some place where i am not going to face any WHAT THE FUCK stuff again-ly.

tuesday.

2010-01-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

YOU SUCH A BUSY BODY, FUCK YOU!

school days.

2010-01-09T23:36:00.004+08:00

just ended the first week of school days
teachers gave lot of homework. essay essay and essay.
tomorrow have to finish all of it, sigh. gonna be a tough work for me.
no more 10 subjects for us. EST is again added on to our SPM subject.
have to face it again, a subject that i dont really like.
chinese, i hate it too cause dont really understand the questions.
weekdays are fully packed by tuition classes.
chat lesser and lesser with her dy.
feel like getting far apart.
hope that we wont be strangers when we meet.
sleep at 12 everyday, wake up at 6 something, get a rest of around 6 hours per day.
as compared to holidays, it's really short.
almost everyday have to stay back after school, exhausted.
can i have more than 24 hours a day? :(
i'm totally pissed off in school.
everything seems going bad.
i'm not a good student in teacher's eye.
but do i really not that good?
perhaps i looks bad with my appearance, but don't you know i hate the feeling you look at me like that?
everyone has his own look, has his own attitude.
so what? do you have to critic me in a public?
and yet not once, you did many times.
okays, it's enough for this.
i just happy for being myself. i'm useless in your eyes, indeed, i'm still lawzhentheng, i believe that i can make a better difference in the future.
life's so stressed. perhaps this called as life.
mixed of many many types of feeling.
i wish that i can enjoy my life. wish to sweeten your life too :)
appreciate you that always by my side and support me.
i didnt treat you well, i promised you, i will learn to be a better boy.
it takes time, a long time. i dont know whether you willing to wait er not?
i will still learn to treat you good :)
true friend. actually do i have any? am i a true friend for any?
i dont know.
life's just so fake. i dont know which of your word is true. i even dont know which of my word is true.
boo, i think i can go into your world dy. cause finally i got the feeling of dying.

i appreciate all of you. do you?

2010-01-09T14:58:00.000+08:00

..STRESSED..

2010-01-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

BABYELAINE,IMISSYOU

2010-01-08T18:06:00.003+08:00

a week past.
5 days past.
abandon my blog for few days dy.
entering the same class.
go for school as the usual time.
went steamboat twice this week. woohooo.
really happy chatting with you all.

kindly tell you.
you please dont judge me, okay?
you you you. you ain't a judge.
no one can judges me.

bie, we chat lesser dy lur.
busy life for both of us. hhahaha
the end for this post. lazy to write.
byee blog :)

3.1.2010, sweetie 2months :)

2010-01-03T13:47:00.003+08:00

time past fast huh?
sch gonna reopen tomorrow.
bie, it's the second months with you :)
tak boleh celebrate today, but there're still many ani-s waiting for us
sweeten your life everyday, let you pass your honey life always. woohoo.
ILOVEYOU, INEEDYOU, IWANTYOU
bieeeeee. i'm still missing the phone call just now. although you didnt say that, but i know you feel sweet. hor?

happy 2 months anniversary ♥

p/s : ilovethenaughtyyoutoo. youaremyonlychenelaine

hair cut

2010-01-02T13:56:00.005+08:00

had my hair cut today.

camwhore while waiting for my turn.

before

after

i love my new look. :)

1.1.2010 :)

2010-01-01T23:39:00.002+08:00

a new post again. feel like wanna blog something in a sudden.
there 20minutes more before the day ends. dont really hope today end.
i love my day. A LOT!
really miss my day :)
went out with her today. first day of 2010!
tak de much thing to say. just feel sweet for that
loveyoubaby. missyoubaby. needyoubaby

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR THOSE WHO TEXTED ME :)
best wishes from lawzhentheng

chenelaine, sweeeeeetie youuuuuuuu. honeyyyyyyyy

iloveyou

1.1.2010

2010-01-01T02:06:00.006+08:00

she phoned me just now.
i was chatting with her while i realised that 1.1.2010 appeared on my phone.
woahh. i told her i felt so funny when i saw that.
honestly, it was so funny for me to see the number "2010"
time past fast huh?
i ended up my form 4 life, gonna start for a form 5 life soon.
it gonna be tough as i know. but anything.

half an hour ago, i was in my friend's house, ready to stay awake for the whole night.
suddenly i was told that my parents came to fetch me.
i was like what the fuck
i asked my mie for a overnight. she changed her face immediately.
fine then. i followed her.
I"M FEELING LIKE KILLING HER NOW FOR RUINING ME THE WHOLE NIGHT.

chenelaine. i reached my home dy.
tak de accompany you much again.
tak mau risau. gonna meet you in 9 hours time dy.
wooohoo. i miss you the whole night.

new year new life man.
2010, lawzhentheng pasts with her :)
2010, lawzhentheng experiences with her :)
2010, lawzhentheng loves her :)

p/s : bie bie, you must see this.
iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou
iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou
iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou ♥

11.25pm 31 december

2009-12-31T23:25:00.002+08:00

just enjoyed barbeque in friend's house
half and hour to 2010 :)

chenelaine, lawzhentheng loves you a lot

2009-12-29T20:57:00.002+08:00

bieeeeee.
since you asked me for a new post, i'm here to fulfill your desire. :)
went jusco today, watched avatar for the second time. ohh, just to accompany my friend for that.
sat for almost 3 hours there. feel uncomfortable and my butt was in a pain.
went for a lunch after that. thats all for the outing.

indeed, today was quite special, i went pasar malam.
didnt been there for quite long dy.
meet a lot so-called people there. i recognized them, but they dont. aha

oh yea, bieee.
i'm still waiting you to finish your shower here.
fai dit come out from your bathroom lar.
missing you here :)

p/s : he miss her

adik beradik.

2009-12-28T23:31:00.002+08:00

:(

2009-12-28T00:46:00.003+08:00

there are no messages
in my phone.
there are no hugs
in the cinema.
there are no warmths
in my body.
there are no convo-s
in you and me.

there are injuries.
in my heart.
there are tears.
in my eyes.
there are questions
in my mind.
there are problems
in our relation.

there is chenelaine.
in lawzhentheng's heart.

i cried :(

2009-12-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

i took it before i went for my dinner.
and i'm so inlove with it :)

2009-12-26T00:40:00.005+08:00

superwoman. perasan you, hahahaha. got caught by me dy :)
loveyou err

2009-12-25T22:23:00.001+08:00

i feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel so downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

lawzhenwei

2009-12-25T19:28:00.003+08:00

LAWZHENWEI, my brother got his result yesterday.
and i promised him to write something about him. lol.
so what the fuck man. he fooled by his friend that he's getting 5A for his result. he was so upset that moment
meanwhile, his other friend called him again.
WHAT THE HOLYSHIT.
he was told that he got straight A for his exam.
woohoooooo. HE's my man. ilovehimlarwey.

and and. i was like what the fuck when writing this.
i love the word WHAT THE FUCK, so what? huh?

2009-12-25T18:56:00.005+08:00

went for alvin and the chipmunks today.
laugh like hell.
a movie that you dont want to miss it :)

2009-12-23T21:32:00.002+08:00

bieeeee, tomorrow you gonna get your result lur.

i'll pray hard for you tonight.

and good news for you lar..

i can have my christmas with you dy :) wooohooooo

i'm going kl tomorrow err.

so hor.cant accompany you for going anywhere. just felt sorry again for you.

but nevermind. i will text you for the whole day.hees

you go parade with your friends lar if can. hope you can enjoy there :)

i was taking my computer exam when writing this post. HAHAHA. missyou now.

okay bieeeee. time to say byeee dy lur.

btw, good luck to you. and lawzhenwei too :)

baby, i want sweeten your life :)

2009-12-23T10:06:00.002+08:00

next christmas i gonna spend with chenelaine.
but not my family!
nahhhhh. seeeeeeeee. is you lar. chenelaine ♥
big big chenelaine. loveyoulur

2009-12-22T23:01:00.003+08:00

i'm dead today.
lawzhentheng is so dead on dec 22.
seriously i dont feel any happiness today, what i felt were only loneliness? or may be madness?
huh? i don't really know.
well. may be i'm not good in expressing my feeling.
but sorry. i'm just like that. i dont know how to change that. and i dont think i will take any changes for this. feel sorry for you.
yet, you're right. i'm serious with love. i did. i do and i will.
i do love you baby.
i dont know what happen on me. but honestly, we didnt chat much today.
i felt so darn weird for that.
sorry bie bie. tomorrow. 23th dec. maybe everything will change. change from a bad day to a better day.
hope so. god bless.
i ain't that good. i admited it. but that's the original me. i wish that you can accept the original me.
chenelaine, imissyoulikeheaven today. i know you can feel me. i know it.
but i cant feel you :( i'm sad with that.
i want to feel you. bie, i really want to. can i?
my friend ask me for kl tomorrow. i asked my mie. she said cant cant cant. okay. fine. i dont mind really.
and suddenly she told me that we maybe are going kl this christmas. i was like wtf.
i know well. i'd date you for outing that day. now i dont know what to do.
just pray hard that they wont go kl that day.
baby. imissyou.ineedyou.iloveyou. no fake.
nightmare gonna end soon. and being replaced by sweet dreams :)

babee, i'm missing you.

p/s : sorry again for today. iloveyou.

DIGI SUCKS MAN.

2009-12-22T17:50:00.004+08:00

oh ya. i'm here to say WHAT THE FUCK to the fucking digi.
could the supervisor please ask someone to repair the fucking line where there are always no messages can be delivered to.
and please do it fast okay? wtf
just wasting people's money to buy your this fucking shit service.

PLANTS VS ZOMBIES.

2009-12-21T12:32:00.012+08:00

okay. first, look at the pictures first, but not the words.
dont you feel a bit childish for this pictures?
yea. they are. they're what i capture from a game. PLANTS VS ZOMBIES.
baby. you tau i tau lar :)
once again, i want to thanks you. cause you had intro such a nice game for me. hahaha
it wasn't bored as i thought. pretty interesting, funny too
i'm so into it.
bieee, see. i won the boss eh. and you promised that you gonna do something for me if i won this game.
you have to complete what you have promised :)
anyway. time to leave my blog.

iloveyou. chenelaine, you're so sweet x33

bieeeee. see dou mou? the boss dead :)

2009-12-21T00:09:00.003+08:00

went out with her again. yesterday and today.
wooohooo. both days were so great for me :)
miss her a lot.
i walked her to jusco today. hahaha. first time ever we walked outside. lol
meet fan and sophia. knew that they were in jusco today.
they asked me for entering kbox. wtf. i dont sing. i dont like to enter the lil small room for no purpose.
definetely i said a big NO to them.
we went for cinema after that. oh god.
almost watched every movie. canceled the plan for entering cinema. nothing to be done dy.
she wanted for a racing game. waited there for half an hour.
and yet. we cant race together cause of something. wth. silly me.

okay. bie. i'm back to my blog dy.
bieee. you know i know lar. hahaha.
2.54am now. cant sleep er bie. dont know why.
hou chi after chatting with you jau cant sleep dy.
but nevermind. i still have to continue my blog. wee :)

back to out topic.
we end up in capcom, and so we had to go for kbox to pass our time.
2 hours staying with her :)
bie. it was not as bored as i imagine. cause you are there with me. iloveyoulotslar. seisuiyan.
lalalala. at last we took our pictures dy. hou hoi sum lur.
i'm wating for the next outing.
24? 25? 26?
and and.
imissyou
iloveyou
ineedyou
IMY
ILY
INY

lawzhenthengloveschenelaine :)

weee :)

2009-12-18T18:42:00.003+08:00

woohoo.
went out with buddies today. chatted lots with them. bla bla bla. we chatted everything. even gossip too. :)
thankyou fan.
thankyou boo.
thankyou joeger.
really thankyou lot. thankyou for accompaning me today :)
i'm so so so happy. iloveyouguys :)

sorry bie. i didnt accompany you much today. but i know you'll for sure forgive me :)
i'll spent my day with you. loveyoubaby.

p/s : lawzhenthengloveschenelainesomuch.

wee

2009-12-17T22:46:00.003+08:00

currently was so addicted to SWEET DREAMS.
although it's not a new song, but it's pretty nice.
here goes the lyrics.

Beyonce - Sweet Dreams

Every night I rush to my bed
with hopes that maybe I¡¯ll get a chance to see you
when i close my eyes
i¡¯m goin outta my head
lost in a fairytale
can you hold my hands and be my guide

clouds filled with stars cover your skies
and i hope it rains
you¡¯re the perfect lullaby
what kinda dream am is this

you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
either way i, don't wanna wake up from you
sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
somebody pinch me, your loves to good to be true
my guilty pleasure i ain't goin no where
baby long as you're here
i¡¯ll be floating on air cause you're my
you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
either way i, don't wanna wake up from you

i mention you when i say my prayers
i wrap you around around all of my thoughts
boy you my temporary high
i wish that when i wake up you¡¯re there
so wrap your arms around me for real
and tell me you¡¯ll stay by side

clouds filled with stars cover your skies
and i hope it rains
you¡¯re the perfect lullaby
what kinda dream am is this

you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
either way i, don't wanna wake up from you
sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
somebody pinch me, your loves to good to be true
my guilty pleasure i ain't goin no where
baby long as you're here
i¡¯ll be floating on air cause you're my
you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare

tattoo your name across my heart
so it will remain
not even death can make us part
what kind of dream is this?!

you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
either way i, don't wanna wake up from you
sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
somebody pinch me, your loves to good to be true
my guilty pleasure i ain't goin no where
baby long as you're here
i¡¯ll be floating on air cause you're my
you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
either way i, don't wanna wake up from you
either way i, don't wanna wake up from you

wtf.

2009-12-17T11:59:00.000+08:00

i'm what the fuck bored.
bored like hell in home.
what can i do? i dont know actually.
feel like dying.

ily

2009-12-17T00:52:00.001+08:00

i.l.o.v.e.y.o.u

i.l.o.v.e.c.h.e.n.e.l.a.i.n.e

:)

2009-12-09T21:13:00.002+08:00

nothing to write.
im so bored without my computer.
im so happy with her.
im so dead in my home.
im so crazy when my mummy scold me.
im just a normal boy named lawzhentheng.

:) chenelaine, i do love you.

saya sudahhhh balik.. :)

2009-12-06T11:47:00.003+08:00

all my bitches friends, im back :)

joeger, saya sudahhh balik.

chea, saya sudahhh balik.

ds, saya sudahhhh balik.

fan, saya sudahhhh balik.

boo, saya sudahhh balik.

biebie, saya sudahhh balik lurrr :)

=] =]

2009-11-11T20:06:00.002+08:00

i was so happy when i received the gift from you.
i will keep it nicely. hees

p/s: lil baby, miss you so much.

im just so bored

2009-11-10T16:20:00.003+08:00

everyday stay at home. nothing to do really
everyday is freak bored for me.
went for a doctor today morning.
luckily just a small matter =]

yong kah chun, i will tell you what happen to you tomorrow!
no worries about me. thanks lots

a new day, a new LIFE.

2009-11-09T14:02:00.001+08:00

slept for many many hours last night.
wokeup at 1 something in the afternoon
dont know what to do actually.
gonna be so so so free this week. hees
nothing to be done dy. pretty relax
smile smile smile =]
going school tomorrow to meet all my friends. miss you guys lots.

a new day, a new LIFE =]

=]

2009-11-07T17:13:00.002+08:00

so glad that we had finished up our function.
all of us are really exhausted.
but we really showed our teamwork thru this function.
iloveyou guys.
once you are a friend of mine, i had never decide to give up you.
=] smilee.

bored again..

2009-11-05T01:09:00.002+08:00

fucking bored these days..
can this week ends faster?
i hope can really enjoy my holiday. not a fake one please.
stressed..

i'm not perfect..
dont put that much hope on me.
fuck off is the word i say.
sohai is the word i like.
so what?!
i am just what i am.
not going to change anything because of few words from you.
i just live happily with what i have now. and what i do now.

im so dead

2009-11-03T23:30:00.002+08:00

disappointed with my result.
how i gonna face my parents?
im so terrible, horrible..
I'M SO DEAD...

2009-11-02T21:37:00.001+08:00

went out whole day today. and went for my friend's house.
had lots of fun in his house. but his dog was really stupid lar.
chasing on me the whole day. lol
exhausted. will be going for school tomorrow. =]

2009-11-01T23:44:00.001+08:00

went for a party tonight.
it was not as nice as i imagined.
anyway she accompany me the whole day.
happy for that =]

...

2009-10-31T21:41:00.000+08:00

not in a good condition.
not in a good mood.
bored here.

PARTY TIME

2009-10-30T23:08:00.001+08:00

its party time!
let's say FUCK OFF to exam.
FUCK OFF

bored

2009-10-28T20:02:00.000+08:00

boredom kills. suffer lar
gonna end my exam soon.
gonna end this game =]
i love my form 4 life.

wth.

2009-10-27T14:01:00.002+08:00

holyshit.
what am i doing now?
guys, today's physics paper is it a fucking hard subject?
and so, all of sam tet guys admited that.
i just reached home then i told my mummy about that.
what the..
she scold me just after i told her about that.
she said im saying rubbish and so ever.
she said i will feel that's hard because of i didnt study.
i'm just like what the hell.
how you expect me to study?
i wont be such nerd that study for 24 hours a day in home. i wont do so. thanks
i told her that my friends said that paper is hard too.
what she answer me is out of my expectation.

the conv0 between me and my mummy

me - z mummy - m
z : "mummy, today's physics was so so hard!"
m : " of course you say hard lar, you also didnt study."
z : "what? i study dy lar. just that the paper too hard only."
m : "why dont your friend feel hard? "
z : "they feel it hard too lar, almost all of them scold the teacher that set the paper."
m : "you dont ask your friends lar, go ask the xxx. he always study, sure he wont say hard one."
z : "har? my friends also same class with me lar. there is no difference between them and xxx."
m : "i dont wan talk to you."
z : "im so speechless!"

...

happy birthday

2009-10-24T18:02:00.001+08:00

25th of oct
today is chenelaine's big day.
happy birthday to her. hees =]

oh god.

2009-10-21T11:37:00.000+08:00

dont spam me in my c box kay?
leave your name here if dare.